The Real Housewives of Atlanta – Slumber Party Brawl

Phaedra is planning another ridiculous party for herself and pretending it’s for her son who is too young to have any idea whats going on and would prefer pooping in his diaper and listening to baby songs.

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Now I want to make sure this party is as ridiculous as possible. Like even more ridiculous than your jacket right now.

They are a cute family though. Remember when we all thought Phaedra was going to be a terrible mom? She’s didn’t turn out too bad after all… Although the man she chose to be their father isn’t doing them any favors.

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Cynthia and Peter share office space in the warehouse they rented and are calling a modeling agency. Cynthia is so happy about this because now whenever something is bothering her or she has some annoying situation she wants to bitch about, Peter is right there, trapped behind his desk, forced to listen to her. It’s perfect!

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Peter looks equally as thrilled about the situation:

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Not even Kenya is crazy enough to try to get pregnant from a sperm bank while in a relationship. It’s time for her to just admit that her African pen pal turned out to be a telemarketing scam. If there was a rich man even slightly interested in her, she would be locking that down with pin holes in the condoms.
Do the women have to go through some sort of psychological screening process, or the doctors just give away sperm to any random woman who wants it? CPS should get a jump on things and just take her eggs into custody now.

WARNING to all sperm donors from the ATL area:
This woman could be giving birth to your child.

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The doctor should have done the world a favor and told Kenya she was infertile. I think she was considering it.

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Now I’m no expert on sperm banks, but I think Kenya made a great choice on this one. I would definitely trust these people with their rented office space, temporary plastic sign, and the lap top this woman clearly borrowed from her teenage daughter. I’m sure once the payments are made this office will still be here. For sure. Write that check Kenya.
Is that guy wearing a name tag?

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Something about this just looks like a Lifetime Movie in the making. I could be wrong.

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Ahhh so that’s what sperm looks like. Normally it just goes straight into my mouth I don’t get to see it.

Nene was clearly spending some time with her new friend Molly and decided it would be a good idea to throw a swingers party for the group. Unfortunately this is Bravo and not HBO, so all the good parts had to be edited out.
Nene made her outfit all by herself out of an old bandana, her kid’s bed sheets, and some lace. Watch out for her new Lingerie line coming soon.

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I hired some escorts to get the party started. A sexy lady for the men, and a hot guy for the ladies (and a couple of the men too)

Not everyone was too happy about Nene’s plans for the night, and some of them objected. But then Nene reminded everyone that they have all slept with everyone else in the room at least once already. Eventually everyone relaxed a bit and agreed to go along with the activities she had planned.

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Well what the hell did you guys think you were doing in a hotel room in your underwear? Having Couples Therapy? Helloooo people. Like do I need to spell it out for you?

The first game of the night involved pulling cards from a hat.

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The Card says I have to spend 7 minutes in the closet with Brandon, so I need to pick another card

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That’s not the way the game works Peter, you aren’t allowed to pick another card.

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I picked myself, so I guess I’ll just go in the closet with my Kandi Coated Lipstick?

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Seriously I don’t want this card. Here Phaedra, trade with me.

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What’s the matter Peter, you’re too good to go in the closet with me?!!

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No one touches my man Peter in his special place. NO MEANS NO!

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Protect me Monique!!! Just throw a punch if anyone gets too close!

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Since everyone is screaming I would like to take this opportunity to point my finger in your face and let you know that you’re a dumb Ho.

Come on Brandon, I'll go in the closet with you.
Chris: Come on Brandon, I’ll go in the closet with you.                                                                            Brandon: No way man, you look like a black Bruce Jenner. That’s scary.
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I give up, ya’ll. Can’t even have a little freaky sex without it turning into a huge drama… Come on Greg lets take these escorts home, I spent $300 each I’m not wasting that money.

6 comments

  1. Hahaha The mobile sperm bank – My fav. part of the night was Kenja saying that Apollo was fighting as if for his virginity in prison.

    Great Re-cap!

    Looks like the fight continues next week.

  2. Did anyone else notice how wonky Kenya boobs looked during that “party”? I normally don’t check out boobs but hers were shoved in that outfit in some kind of way that could not possibly have been comfortable.

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