The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap – The Finale (Finally) #RHOBH

Ok so basically the finale happened pretty much the way I thought it would. With the exception of Brandi saying I checked mated you bitch because they cut that out. What the hell Bravo?! They cut out so much stuff that they were able to show scenes from last week, a compilation of scenes from the entire season, and the beginning of the reunion, and the show was still only 43 minutes long.

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I could sum the whole thing up by saying everyone wants to be Lisa’s BFF, and they are all upset because they each feel she doesn’t pay enough attention to them or likes another woman more than she likes them. That’s all that happened. The End.

But I know you guys want a recap…. so here ya go

The women get all dressed up and head out to a birthday celebration for Beverly Hills. If Beverly Hills were capable of throwing itself a birthday party I don’t think most of these bitches would be invited. I don’t know what was up with the party…. but it looked like a high school dance set around the pool in the gym.

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And they were drinking out of plastic cups. Plastic! I don’t think this was a real party. I think this was something concocted by Bravo and the Hilton’s threw in the venue for free as a favor to Kim and Kyle.

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 Yolanda and Carlton arrive first and get straight to talking about Lisa. Kim came with Joyce and her husband and they made awkward jokes about three-somes. I think they’ve been spending too much time around Carlton.
Kyle and Mauricio stop by to pick up Brandi and she’s bringing a black guy as her date. If anyone tries to call her a racist again, she can just point to him.

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See, I’m not racist. I fuck black guys too!

They spend the ride to the party talking about Lisa, because Lisa is the most important thing happening in anyone’s life right now.

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Everyone is just kinda standing around waiting for Lisa to arrive so they can each bother her with their petty grievances. As much as these women don’t want to admit it, Lisa is the main attraction at this circus.
Brandi isn’t ready to talk to Lisa yet though, she needs to get drunk first, otherwise things like common sense might get in the way of the argument she wants to have.

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Once Lisa arrives Yolanda is the first one to run up to her and pester her about leaving Puerto Rico without telling anyone (besides production, and Bravo, you know… the people that matter)
I mean, Lisa could have been dead! Raped and murdered and left in an alley way!
Chill the fuck out Yolanda, we’re talking about Ken and Lisa here, not Kim.
Just admit you’re actually mad about the fact that they enjoyed their vacation at a better hotel than yours and didn’t jump on the first plane and run home like you had hoped they would - and told everyone they did.


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Yolanda tried to say hi to Ken and he totally blew her off. HAHA.
Yolanda’s ego has fooled her into thinking she’s someone so important that people aren’t allowed to be mad at her. And she has LYME DISEASE Ken, so whatever you’re mad at her for isn’t her fault!! It’s beyond Yolanda’s diminished brain capacity to comprehend why Ken might not feel like wasting air saying hello to her.
Yolanda informs us that she would accept being snubbed by Beyonce, but not Ken. He isn’t important enough. Her husband has Grammy’s. Lots of Grammy’s. She deserves respect damn it!

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I just don’t understand why you need to be friends with the other women when you have me? Did you see my house? It’s beautiful. You can have Gigi’s bedroom. It’s yours. Just love me the most!!!!!

Now it’s Kim’s turn. She wants to apologize to Ken, but he doesn’t really care if Kim apologizes or not. Nothing she says makes sense anyway so the words that come out of her mouth are basically meaningless to normal people. Ken tells Joyce that Kim isn’t on the same planet as them. Joyce tells him that’s mean… but she doesn’t argue with the true-ness of the statement.

Hey guys, do I look like Allison?

Hey look at me! I’m Allison DuBois!

Kim is offended by Ken’s dismissive behavior, but let’s be honest, I’d dismiss that bitch too and so would all of you. Kim is one of those crazy people at a party that will get you cornered and force you to listen to a 35 minute long story about Kingsley’s dog training lessons.
Ken’s been there done that and wants to get away before it’s too late.

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But don’t you want to hear about the cute thing Kingsley did yesterday??

For some reason Kim seems to be under the impression that if you apologize to someone, they are then required to forgive you. Real life doesn’t work that way Kim.
And while we’re on the subject of apologies, where the fuck is my apology?
I think us as viewers are owed a huge apology for being forced to watch Kim’s mind numbingly boring scenes while we sit here pretending that she’s just a little quirky when she’s clearly smoking fucking crack on a daily basis.
She needs to be on Intervention, not a show about rich classy women.
I want an apology and I will be offended until I get one.

I want an apology NOW!!

I want an apology NOW!!

On the other side of the pool, Brandi is trying to convince Carlton that Lisa is manipulating her, but it isn’t working because Carlton was actually there for the whole non-existent tabloid on the table thing. Brandi tells Carlton that she doesn’t remember the magazine because Lisa hypnotized her into forgetting about it.
Brandi know’s how it feels, her and Kyle used to be mind zombies under Lisa’s control too. But they were finally able to escape and now they are free and can think for themselves.
And just look at all the great things that happen when Kyle and Brandi think for themselves!

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Throughout all the shit talking and slander, Brandi continues to assure us that she really loves Lisa. And I totally believe her, because as she already demonstrated with her father, character assassination is how she shows her love.

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I totally love Lisa. What would possibly make you think I don’t?

Lisa pulls Kyle away from the group, probably because she thought maybe now that Kyle has had some time to think about things, she would be able to see the truth.

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Unfortunately, Kyle’s reasoning skills don’t fare too well on their own without Lisa’s mind control. So Kyle has decided to ignore the fact that Brandi is the one who brought up the rumors about her husband at the lunch at Carlton’s, and that Yolanda basically said she thinks they’re true, and that Brandi made everyone start talking about the tabloids again in Puerto Rico, and that Brandi actually bought the tabloids and had them on display at her house, and that now the entire show has basically become about the tabloids that Kyle wanted to ignore BECAUSE OF BRANDI!!!
She’s just going to brush all that aside, take Brandi’s word as truth, and demand that Lisa apologize for Brandi’s lies.
Smart choice Kyle. Mensa should be calling any day now.

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And aside from the apology that Lisa doesn’t owe her, Kyle also really needs Lisa to tell her that she’s her friend.
Right now.
Ok Lisa said it.
Now she needs to hear it again.
And one more time just to be sure.
But she’s still not sure she believes it… So she’s going to need Lisa to reassure her of their friendship at least once every 20 minutes for the rest of the party.
And also every morning on the phone, and at least 4 or 5 times throughout the day via text message.
She also wants Lisa to send out a tweet declaring that they are BFF’s, and maybe add it at the bottom of the menu at SUR, or possibly have a plaque put up on the door to her house next to the one that says Villa Rosa, then Kyle can know for sure that Lisa really is her friend.
Lisa is like fuck this shit I can’t do this anymore and walks away.

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You are BSC Kyle. See ya later.

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I knew you weren’t a real friend…. real friends make plaques for their real friends.

Kim wastes no time getting in Kyle’s ear and talking shit about Lisa. If she can prevent Kyle from having friends, then Kyle will have no choice but to spend all her time with Kim.
Once that is accomplished, all Kim has to do is get Mauricio out of the picture (a few more “leaked” tabloid stories should do it) and then it’s only a few more years till the kids are gone and then she can have Kyle all to herself. They can even move into together and then Kim will never have to be alone ever again!

Lisa is not your friend. No one is. I'm the only one you can count on... except when I'm drunk. Actually you're the only one I can count on. See... it's just you and me

Lisa is not your friend. No one is. I’m the only one you can count on… except when I’m drunk. Actually you’re the only one I can count on. Same difference, no? It’s meant to be this way, just you and me sis.

Now it’s Brandi’s turn. She finally had enough glasses of wine and is ready to speak to Lisa. Brandi’s demands are simple. She just wants Scheana (or however you spell that stupid made up name) put on a boat, driven out into the middle of the ocean, and pushed overboard… with weights tied to her ankles. That’s all. If Lisa is truly Brandi’s real friend and not Scheana’s best friend, then she will do this for her. Then they can go back to be besties and Brandi will stop lying about the tabloids.

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Just kill the bitch. Is that really asking too much?

Lisa chooses not to murder Scheana, and Brandi sadly declares that if Scheana lives, her relationship with Lisa has to end.
She dealt with a cheating spouse once and she won’t deal with being cheated on again, especially not with the same girl.
Lisa reminds Brandi that they aren’t in a relationship… they’re just friends.

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Brandi is really disappointed, because she thought there was so much more between them and she thought Lisa felt it too. She knows she did!
She declares her love for Lisa and tells her how beautiful and amazing she is, and how her perfume is like an intoxicating drug, more powerful than all the white wine in the world, and that her smile could create peace on earth!

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Just tell me you love me Lisa!

Lisa let’s Brandi down gently, she tells her that she does love her, she just doesn’t feel “that way” about her.
Brandi says she now realizes that she has to move on, because she will never be able to have the relationship she wants with Lisa. Plus she wasn’t getting enough sex out of this arrangement anyway.

For some reason Mauricio really wants to be a Housewife this season. He pulls Ken aside to have a talk of their own just like the ladies.
Mauricio says he can forgive Ken…. FOR WHAT???!!!
He starts telling Ken how much he loves him, and it’s a little weird.
Then he calls Lisa a liar. And how does he know she’s a liar? Because Kim, Yolanda, and Brandi told him.
Nevermind the fact that Kim wasn’t there, and Yolanda is actually backing up Lisa’s version, he’s still gonna go ahead and believe it. I think Mauricio has been dipping into Kim’s stash.

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I have feelings too Ken. And I need you to listen to them.

Ken finds the whole thing so ridiculous he’s just laughing in Mauricio’s face.

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Mauricio finally admits that he’s just been feeling a little neglected lately and all he really wanted was some affection and some hugs from his buddy.

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I love you man, gimme a hug

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How about another hug, come here

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Love you man, but totally not in a gay way. I swear.

What the fuck is up with everyone? They’re like a bunch of children begging for mommy Lisa and daddy Ken’s affection. This is probably the weirdest dynamic of any Housewife show ever. I’m tempted to fly out to SUR just to see what this new drug called Lisa Vanderpump is all about.

When the men are done their talk/hug session they head over to the women’s table. Yolanda orders Ken banished from their conversation. But since he doesn’t recognize her as the Queen she thinks she is, he ignores her orders.
He tries to talk to Yolanda and reaches out to touch her arm, but before he can even touch her she swats his hand away and then accuses him of trying to murder her.

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Ken calls Yolanda stupid again. She says she might be a lot of things, but she’s not stupid. She suffers from diminished brain capacity – which is a really smart way of saying stupid.

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If I were stupid I wouldn’t be using fancy words like “diminished”!!

Yolanda wants to call the cops and report her attempted murder, so Ken and Lisa decide to get the fuck out of there and head to SUR where they can be around normal people like Jax and Kristen.

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You see…  Yolanda and David are having some money problems, and they figured that if Yolanda could pretend she was assaulted, they could sue Ken and get themselves some of that big time restaurant money. Unfortunately, the whole non assault was caught on camera so now they have to sell their house for the money.

Ken just tried to murder me. You all witnessed that right??

Ken just tried to murder me. You all witnessed that right??

And I have to admit…I’m not sure how this happened, but suddenly fucking Joyce is the voice of reason in this insane asylum.
She’s been trying to warn us about this set up since day one and we all dismissed her as a hair flipping shit stirrer trying to get attention. Fuck….. I hate being wrong.

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I still hate Carlton though. She gives me the creeps. Even if she did her best impression of a normal person last night. If there is any sense left at Bravo after this fiasco of a season they’ll get rid of her.

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All alone at the party…. just like high school

The best line of the night goes to Lisa: Never wrestle with a pig because you’ll get dirty. And whats more, the pig likes it. HAHA she totally just called you ladies PIGS!

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Ok time to go read some blogs!

76 comments

  1. What has happened to Peace and Love Yolanda this year? I can’t stand the new her. I’m SO tired of Brandi whining about that flippin affair. Get over it already!!

    Thanks for the fun recap! You seem to be domesticating with all of your cooking and hooking!

    1. Well I’ve always been cooking. But hooking is the new adventure. I haven’t gotten sick of it yet so that’s a good sign.

      Yolanda was fake before, now we saw the real her. Petty and in high school.

    2. I enjoyed this recap much more than the actual episode. Maybe because I agree 100% with its content. Yolanda was a BIG disappointment this season,I liked her better when she had “diminished capacity”. Kim and Kyle are still on the “dumb”side,Brandi is still the poster gal for whoring,drinking and lying, Joyce still seems to be the sweet one(so far) and Carleton should cast a spell on Team KKBY! The Vanderpumps/Todd’s should realize that even Giggy has more intelligence than Team KKBY and dump the four of them!!

    3. Just found this through a link. I laughed my a.. Off. So funny! As a show Lisa is the best, for real life I can’t stand Any of them. Sadly including Lisa. :( I don’t have twitter but some of her tweets seem to be she’s above us peons. But that’s ALL of them.

      But Brandi, wow, she’s everything I despise in a human being and I certainly hope she isn’t rewarded for it. She’s truly disgusting. If she’s back next season I’m done. This is the last of the hw shows that I watch, I’ve crossed them all of and don’t miss them.

    4. I read this at work at lunch, not a good idea because I was lol,never again.

      Lemonlyme and that god awful weave! Maybe she can blame it all on Lyme’s. I have a dear friend that unfortunately was bitten by a tick carrying Lyme’s. Kudos to lemons for using bravo to bring attention to it,however, it’s nothing like her blogs and excuses. And she really should have stopped before spouting treatment that only the rich can afford.

      She says because of Lyme’s has 20 percent brain function so I can be rude, but have have laser total recall with anything Lisa. Umm.

    5. Where is everyone? Most comments were yesterday, including the recapper. I have no idea how to start a new comment, I only see reply.

      This recap was the most lol that I’ve seen then the follow up is lacking.

      1. You have to scroll all the way to the bottom for the comment box
        And you can click the most recent comments on the right side, it will take you right to the newest one.

  2. I know this is a week early but Brandi looks like a 20 foot Amazonian warrior at the reunion. She needed to wear a pair of flats with her outfit.

    Also, I remembered you used the same picture (with you pouting a gun at Brandi) when Bravo aired the first season of Miami and pushed back NYC because the fourth season was do atrcious they needed to re-edit it.

    Speaking of NYC, the season premiere was an absolute snooze feast. I was waiting for the leg scene because I thought it was going to happen in the first episode but it never did. :( The new girl is annoying and unlike able.

    1. I know, when did Brandi get so freakin tall??

      I find the first show of a new season is always kinda boring. Just meet the new wives, catch up with old ones.
      If only they could all open with a NJ baptism, that would be great.

      1. Well she must not have learned that the tallest person in the room doesn’t make you the most powerful, it just makes you the tallest. And even though she’s a size zero, because she says it repeatedly, squeezing into a jr size isn’t good, and can did you look in the mirror and say and say, oh I LOVE how it gives me back fat! Ick. Wear your size.

        I won’t even get started on her “I’m not racist see” date. Clearly a hot guy, probably wannabe model that hasn’t taken off and saw being on tv as a stepping stone. Good for him. It was oblivious they weren’t actually together.

        1. Actually Brandi started dating this guy after things ended with the realtor. He’s an ex football player. She writes about it in her latest book.

          1. Does she call him a douchebag too like she did the realtor guy? She stalked him at a party, brags about dunken bathroom sex with him, then says he doesn’t make a lot of money and he’s a douchebag because he didn’t marry her but loves someone else. So is that guy in a book as a douchebag too because he was near her?

            1. She dated Drew for a while and said he’s the only guy she’s introduced her kids to. Even though they broke up they’re still friends. She said he’s really good with the boys and is always over at the house playing games with them. He was also on her blog after they split.

          2. And a one stand or booty call does not equal dating. Brandi obviously needs together that,and so does her book. Sex does not equal dating.

          3. And my mother was a single mom of three, she got a whopping $ 80 a month when she got that. She worked two jobs, didn’t spend $40,000 a month like Brandi then whine, support me and my kids. I, unlike Brandi, work, and won’t spend a dime on her. Btw did you read hear/hear that she said only lonely fat hw buy her books because they wish they were her?

            I’m not lonely, fat, won’t ever buy her trashy books, and am very grateful not to be her

            Pour me another one is laughing all the way to the bank making fun of people putting her there.

                1. Brandi’s friendship with Jenn bugs me, too! She was the “housemother” on Sober House (the spin-off of Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab for those who may not know). Jenn’s most likely a recovering addict and/or alcoholic herself, and to be good friends with someone who at minimum has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol seems suspect and concerning. I feel as if Brandi might also abuse her Xanax and is clearly mixing it with alcohol…so how does Jenn digest that kind of behavior from her BFF when she herself is a sober coach and most likely a recovering addict as well? Maybe she is trying to monitor Brandi, but it just doesn’t seem in line with the teachings of AA, NA and Al-Anon. I dunno, I don’t get it. I wish Jenn would clarify.

                  1. I also watched those Sober Living shows & yes she is a recovering addict. She kicked a few off the house for using. She also lived with Andy Dick after his DWTS, another addict. But watching her watch Brandi self medicating and condones it, makes her a Hypocrite. I would love to ask Dr.Drew his opinion on that. He never answers.

  3. That was awesome! I love Lisa, think Joyce is level headed and neutral, Kyle is a needy fuck who looks like a dwarf around all these amazonian women, Kim needs to be taken away by fairies, Carlton (afraid to say anything about her lest a hex be put on me and my family) is unusual, Yolanda is going through some serious issues of my shit dost not stinketh, and Brandi is just a disgusting piece of filth. Watching her on WWHL last night still bashing Lisa, omg, I will never watch again if Bravo brings her trashy trailer park ass back (sorry to offend the good people of the trailer park).

      1. Which is yet another reason I wonder if the production company is behind a lot of this fabricated BS: does Brandi feels she delivered what they asked for, implicitly or explicitly? Was she assured her place on the next season for “bringing it”?

        Oh! What about her physical deterioration this season? I’m not just talking about her face blowing up like a serial killer clown. Her speech impediment was so freaky it was distracting every time she spoke. She had a different injury every episode. By the finalé even her mouth was oddly shaped and she looked even worse. It seemed this shocking transformation from lovely woman to The Joker was in keeping with her storyline.

        1. On WWHL she said it was because of TMJ. Her tongue wasn’t really swollen, she just had an overbite because of some slipped jaw disks or something.
          I think she should be more careful where she puts her mouth. Just sayin….

          1. She’s lying, she’s got that swollen with marbles thing going on, all season long!! I know because it annoyed me. In some episodes she’s swollen with marbles, then in some episodes she’s not. Jaws is not consistent with her timeline of when she’s blowing marbles this season.

            1. I get fillers and botox and give blowjobs, i also have tmj. i have never had a problem with a lisp from fillers or botox but i have had a long term lisp. use your imagination on where i am going with this.

              1. That’s what I meant too. WhiteTrashGal described her perfectly. I’m still not sure whether the right name for her is The Joker or Jaws. I think Jaws considering the situation we have to face, I mean watch.

          2. First she said it was an allergy, then her dog ate her mouth guard, then stress from Lisa. I think its bj too soon after Botox.

      2. Yeah, the “I love her” is mental. This is exactly what people do to the ones they love in her world I guess, I mean she trashed her father in her book, trashed Adrienne, a good friend, and now Lisa, it’s the norm for her. Yolanda will get her as well.

  4. I am still laughing! You are a genius, RCH! Loved the demands from Kyle and Brandi! Bahaha! Thank you! It was so depressing last night finale, with plastic cups! Very much needed a good and healthy laugh, very much appreciated!

    1. Thank you. It was a depressing finale.
      Have you ever seen a group of women try to bring someone down while simultaneously saying how great and amazing she is and how much they love her? Weird weird weird….
      And Yolanda HAHAHAHA. With her strict demands for friendship, I’m guessing all she has are hollywood friends bc no one can live up to her standards. I think she should get some interns like Sonja.

      1. She must have a manual to follow her rules of friendship… It must be the size of a phone book! I wonder if David’s sign it! You must sing it with blood (lol).

      2. RCH you are errrything! Somebody was name dropping on another reality recap site and I clicked over to check you out. Now I will be up all night reading every blog in the archives. GUT BUSTING ….I am sure I’ve sprained an abdominal muscle reading the first two.

        1. Btw while you’re up all night reading, this is my 2nd blog. There is another one from a couple years ago that will keep you up for at least a week or 3.

  5. Such a great recap, one of the best I’ve read. A lot of good stuff but loved your line, “Yolanda’s ego has fooled her into thinking she’s someone so important that people aren’t allowed to be mad at her.”

    This season just disgusted me, with all the over the top hate for ridiculous reasons, and I’ve come to really hate Brandi and Yolanda which really surprises me. Even tho I gave up on The Richards sisters back in season 1, I felt sorry for Kyle the beginning of this season, but she managed to turn that around pretty quickly. I honestly don’t know if I can’t continue next season if Brandi’s back on….unless it’s Brandi’s turn or Yolo turn for a gang up. I hope Mohamed’s girlfriend may get on, so hopefully Yolo will get as good as gives with this scenario.

    I am dreading the reunion next week but can’t wait for your take.

    1. I thought Yolanda was going to be a great addition to the show. What a disappointment she turned out to be!

      Carlton actually had us routing for Kyle… then Kyle had to go and fuck it all up.

  6. Also Kim Richards needs to attend many more AA meetings as she still doesn’t have complete clarity. She’s MEAN as a snake this year. I still think what she said to Ken about being an old man was horrid. I’m a huge Ken and Lisa fan. To me, he especially, doesn’t have a hidden agenda bone in his body. Yolanda was HORRIBLE this year – arrogantly superior and MEAN. Kim has no storyline and I wish she’s leave. How much can you two keep whining over and over about your kids leaving. Mega-boring. Honestly, I’m SO tired of all of the fighting on ALL of the RH shows. Year after year – fight – fight – fight! I haven’t watched ATL in years. Carlton, the witch, will be leaving no doubt. She brought nothing to the table except weirdness and confrontation. My rant for the night.

      1. I don’t get the hate for Carlton and constantly calling her a witch. To me it seems really all religion based. Il explain why. Yes she refers to herself as a witch, religion based not personality, and her hatred of Kyle seems off base unless it’s based on something we don’t see, and I’m no fan of splits. But some of the questions that we’ve seen from splits, although repetitive, don’t seem to warrant the hostility.
        But who knows, I’m more just dismiss you kinda person.

        But back to the show. Her behavior certainly isn’t mine, but it isn’t really any different than Brandi last year when she was loved. So that’s why I guess I don’t get it. Loved Brandi behaving the same way, hate Carlton because?…

        1. Carlton said before the show started she had heard from friends that Kyle did not want her on the show and said something about her being a real “witch”, so she she came on mad and disliking Kyle. She should have let Kyle did her own hole. If that is her religion, wiccan, than Kyle is bigoted against it because she is always referencing it when talking about Carlton. Would she like Carlton referring to her being Jewish every time she spoke about her. Not a Carlton fan, but Kyle is just disgusting.

    1. KIm seems to be a dry drunk at this point. She’s angry because she can’t have falling-down fun anymore! So she takes it out on others, blaming them for this or that or the other, when really, to fully recover, she has to accept that she has behaved terribly as an addict and she has to own whatever hurt and chaos she caused in the lives of those around her.

      So far it isn’t happening.

      1. I don’t know what dry drunk means but I see it a lot. But Kim clearly isn’t right, I’m not buying she’s off alcohol and drugs story. She’s bizarre. Her the make no sense and I’m beyond sick of her acting and dressing like a toddler. And if she really is in recovery, she would accept any and all criticism about her behavior,not say it can’t be mentioned. That alone says she’s still using something. And she’s just plain mean. While saying, give me a pass, I’m an addict. No.

        And poor Kingsley. That dog screams neuron because he clearly doesn’t want to be in charge but it’s him or bat shit crazy. Won’t be long before the poor dog looses it and eats her face.

  7. RCH does the most funniest recaps.Thank you for them. Your old site kept me up late at night laughing. I love how you interact with your commentors, you’re even funnier with your own comments. Keep it up.

    1. The best is when RHONJ starts. That’s when all the crazy trolls come out screaming out Dina being a good person and making excuses for Teresa. That’s the best!

      1. I know. I don’t get the love for these two twits. Poor, poor Teresa? Dina such a lovely person? Huh? Wait a minute here….

        Pretty funny Jersey video. Her imitation of Kathy cracks me up the most….

    1. Yeah that bitch Allison DuBois sent dead people to fuck with me because I wrote mean things about her in the blog. To this day, the mystery of the cigarette ash has still never been solved. There are no ghosts in our new home, thankfully.

  8. I am so over this tv show. Definitely sticking with your recaps instead of wasting my time watching this stupid boring sh**fest. I am hoping Lisa splits and they do a Divine Vanderpump show….please give us Giggy…he has more class and is more interesting this these whiny women and their over the top stupidity.
    Keep up the excellent work…

  9. Great blog as usual. :)

    I wish Lisa would have a dinner party with Brandi and EVERY OTHER WOMEN that Brandi’s ex has slept with. Didn’t Brandi say that she’s brought other women in to their bedroom? For two seasons all we’ve heard is her complain about how hard her life is because of Eddie. Really?
    I wish B would fall off this earth ….while Yolanda was holding her hand.

    Another thing, I can’t wait (CAN’T WAIT) for B to screw over Yolanda. And she will. I hope it happens the same week that David leaves Yolanda. And he will.

  10. Once again, you had very valid points in your summation of this episode! What I gathered was that Ken said, “That’s stupid”, pointing to Yo’s accusation as stupid, but not actually calling her stupid. She, with English as her second or third language, took it as calling her stupid and rebelled. When she called Ken out on calling her stupid and replying that she was smart, she proved how stupid she really was…and Ken’s retort of “not that smart” was validating that at that point!
    I admire Lisa and Ken the most. I want to see a new show, “The Vanderpumps” without the fake friends. If Caroline Manzo can get her own show (I don’t get that at all), Lisa should get one herself…not counting Pump Rules…since that is more about employees.
    I always loved RHOBH the most…not after the takedown of Lisa. It is a shame that the others’ jealousy fueled such a bitter battle against the most popular lady and only one really, on the show.
    Thanks again for your funny recap.

    1. I can’t believe the Manzo’s got their own show either. Someone at Bravo has been smoking crack with some of these new shows and casting decisions. There is no way that show is gonna do good. I saw in the news she was house hunting with the whole family. Does that mean the kids are gonna move back in? Lol.
      Lisa should totally have her own show. It can be just like Beverly Hills except she gets to choose who’s invited to the dinner parties. It would be perfect.

      1. Oh yes, Manzo mama’s boys and spoiled daughter living home in late twenties to thirties. That should be a snoozefest. Why a new house. I have relatives in that town…and she lives in a nice place. Maybe she will have Jacq and her family move in since they could not afford to stay in their place. I don’t get it.
        Oh and if Lisa gets a new show, “Vanderpumped” would be a fitting name. :-)

        Thanks for a good laugh today. I look forward to anything else you write.

        1. The house they were looking at was in California. But Bethanny pulled the same stunt when she was trying to get publicity for her new show. I highly doubt Albert is leaving is true love, the Brownstone (and the mistress who lives in the apartment across the street)

  11. “I’m tempted to fly out to SUR just to see what this new drug called Lisa Vanderpump is all about.”

    Ha ha! Meet you there!

    “I could sum the whole thing up by saying everyone wants to be Lisa’s BFF, and they are all upset because they each feel she doesn’t pay enough attention to them or likes another woman more than she likes them. That’s all that happened. The End.”

    You Canadians. So level-headed and pithy. If everyone thought like you, there’d be no wars. Spoilsport.

    Anyhow, thanks for indulging us with your AS EVER SPOT ON recap. I’m so glad you came back to help us through this awful season of nothing but made-up reality nonsense.

  12. FYI – I’ve been to SUR. Lisa, Ken, Pandora and her hub were all there and were so nice to us. Lisa knows which side of the bread her butter is on and she couldn’t have been kinder. It’s beautiful although the bathroom (and there is only one that I was aware of) was in kind of sad shape . . . broken tiles . . . not as glamorous as you’d expect. The bar with the Vanderpump bartenders was fun too. This was all over a year ago so I’m sure things have been perked up by now.

  13. Great recap to a boring episode. I’ve been wondering since I heard the news about Yoyo’s Malibu house being up for sale, what normal L.A woman would trade down from Malibu to Beverly Hills. Watching this last episode it became very clear that Yoyo wants to be the BHills Lea Black and be the Queen. It would be awesome if she and Brandi don’t get invited back. :)

  14. Isn’t it odd that Bravo didn’t show the “I checkmated you bitch” comment? I think it’s because of the amount of backlash that has been received from ganging up on Lisa. I think the producers knew it would be too much but they didn’t realize that at the beginning of the season. After the Jaclyn comments, and the molestation remark on podcast, and then the gang up of Lisa, I don’t think Bravo wanted to risk the reputation of one of their cash cows (Brandi).

    1. I agree, Andy keeps bringing her on WWHL, yet he doesn’t ask her any hard questions like why did you lie about Lisa’s bankruptcy, you called Kyle an a-hole and she still likes you? Nope they are trying real hard for her to be liked. Not a chance.

  15. Greatest summation ever: Leann’s husband’s ex-wife thinks that Lisa is cheating on her with the same woman as Eddie!

    I can’t get over how greedy Yolanda has turned out. “Leesa, you can’t be friends with Brandi, I want to be friends with Brandi. Leeesa, you can’t be friends with Kyle, it’s my turn to be friends with Kyle. Leeeesa, you can’t be friends with Mohamed…. ” Oy vey.

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