The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Blogs and Other Things #RHOBH

Let’s talk about the blogs

Screen shot 2014-03-12 at 11.52.26 AMYolanda: I Have A Problem With Lisa As A Victim
Yolanda laments Lisa’s inability to address the situation, and asserts that she’s not jealous of anything of Lisa’s, minus her health.

Read Yolanda’s full blog here

I’m not going to post Yolanda’s entire blog because it was basically 6 pages of complaining that Lisa doesn’t love her enough, and Lisa isn’t a good enough friend, and Lisa didn’t visit her enough. I almost (almost) believe her when she says she isn’t jealous of Lisa, this looks more like obsession than jealousy – actually it’s probably both. Yolanda has some serious personality issues going on. But it’s not her fault, she has LYME DISEASE incase anyone forgot.
Yolanda says:

“I can sleep fine at night knowing that even though my honesty might not translate very diplomatically, the words I speak have good intent and I live my life with great integrity.”

Someone needs to buy Yolanda a dictionary defining the words “honesty”, “good intent” and “integrity”.

Hey, let’s play Mad Libs and make Yolanda’s blog more accurate. Fill in the blanks:

I can sleep fine at night knowing that even though my ________ might not translate very diplomatically, the words I speak have _______ and I live my life with great _______

Yolanda has more to say:

I’m not speaking about what some audience members think was “ganging up” on Lisa. I’m telling you my own personal truth: I simply wanted to have a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend who wouldn’t even validate my feelings.”

Except that Lisa isn’t your bff ya nut job. She’s a friend of your ex husband. And she doesn’t care about your overly dramatic fabricated feelings. If you want your feelings validated get a therapist.
“She showed up in the middle of the day to see David get his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but yet didn’t bother to come to see me be sworn in as a U.S. citizen, a major life moment for me.”
Were any of the other women there? Were her kids even there?? What the hell…
You don’t hear Lisa complaining that Yolanda didn’t go with her to get the permits for her new restaurant.
“she decided after the dinner that we were ganging up against her as a group rather then individuals with separate and specific issues that at least should be heard out of respect.”
See guys, Lisa’s the one who decided it was a gang up! Not them. That manipulative woman….
“With absolute respect for who Lisa is and the life she’s created for herself, I can say that there’s nothing Lisa has or is that I’m jealous of, except for maybe her health. I don’t mean this to be arrogant and dismissive. In fact, just the opposite. I’m not in competition with Lisa (or anyone) — but the claim that we’re jealous of her gives an insight into her mindset. I’m just trying to live the best version I can of my life.”
This is the 2nd time Yolanda is trying to convince us in a blog that she isn’t jealous of Lisa.
I must strongly disagree with this… Yolanda may be beautiful (on the outside at least), rich, famous, have beautiful children, and beautiful homes, but there is one very important thing that Lisa has that Yolanda will never be able to obtain. And that is respect.
Respect from friends, from people in the business world, from people around town, and most importantly – from Yolanda’s ex husband.
Yolanda is nothing but an air head with a pretty face, while Lisa is a pretty face who is respected for her mind as well. That is what Yolanda is jealous of and she’s a fucking liar if she tries to say otherwise.

When she wasn’t obsessing over Lisa she was begging for sympathy for her Lyme Disease. I’m starting to wonder if she didn’t just make the whole thing up for attention. After seeing her behavior this season, I think she’s totally capable of it.
She probably just decided that she feels like lounging around the house for a few months while people wait on her hand and foot, and friends come to visit her in her chambers like a queen holding court in her castle… it was probably fun, and driving to Beverly Hills takes soooo long, especially in traffic.
Hey, don’t judge her, if you had that bedroom and that view you might not want to leave it either.

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Screen shot 2014-03-12 at 12.20.28 PMBrandi: I Know How Mrs. Vanderpump Rolls
Brandi reflects on how she feels used by Lisa when Scheana comes around


Read Brandi’s full blog here

Brandi wrote absolutely nothing new in her blog. She’s still complaining about Scheana and insisting that she love’s Lisa even though she’s a manipulative mind controlling master chess player who secretly controls Beverly Hills.
She had this to say about her conversation with Carlton at the finale:

” I am close friends with Carlton, and I have never once spoken to her about my issues with Lisa — because they don’t involve her and I know that she and Lisa are friends and I would never disrupt a friendship.”

Ok….. suuuuuure Brandi. Whatever you say.

Brandi also has some facts to share with us:

“Here are the facts: Scheana has been BFF with Pandy for five years. The drama of my divorce took place five years ago. Scheana never worked at SUR until the night of our final party. Scheena was a Villa Blanca employee. Why was she at SUR? Lisa is incredibly close to all of her employees, as you see on her show. How on earth did she not know about Scheana and Edddie? Why the f— was Scheana at SUR that night? Also if Lisa didn’t know why would she constantly ask me to interact with this woman that reminded me of the most horrific time in my life. Does Lisa care about me, or am I just part ofVanderpump Rules?”

But I found some fact of my own over at TrashTalkTv.com from the hilarious RonnieK.
He provides a little more honesty into the whole Brandi/Scheana/Lisa situation:

“you weren’t cheated on while being friends with Lisa. Lisa didn’t then go and hire the mistress just to hurt your feelings every time you came to her restaurant commercial shoots. You got it backwards.

Lisa hired a gorgeous bimbo for her restaurant, because gorgeous bimbos are the only people allowed to wait tables in LA. Gorgeous bimbo fucked someone’s husbands, and gorgeous bimbo waitresses are bound to do, and then said bimbo got interviewed on Entertainment Tonight. YOU found out bimbo was working for a famous reality star, pretended to be friends with someone connected to said star to worm yourself into her life on a night you KNEW there would be cameras present. Then you continued to lie to said reality star about how you were connected to her life and built a fake friendship with her, all the while knowing that the gorgeous bimbo who fucked your husband worked for said reality star and would give you a storyline on not one but TWO reality shows. Then you dumped the reality star because you finally got sick of pretending to be her friend and going to her house and flirting with her old man husband and gagging from all the silent fahts. You’re a full fledged D Lister now. Why should you put yourself through all the fakery?

Ah. Breath. I just had to write that all out so I could see plainly who this manipulative bitch is. Lisa, I mean. Of course.”

Click here to read his full recap

Brandi also apologized for not having a blog last week, but considering all she writes is non sense and lies, I guess we didn’t really miss anything.

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Screen shot 2014-03-12 at 12.27.55 PMKim: Ken’s words don’t affect me

Does anyone care what Kim has to say? I don’t. Moving on…

Click here to read Kim’s full blog

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Screen shot 2014-03-12 at 12.38.35 PMCarlton: Is not Lisa’s Puppet
Carlton rolls her eyes at Brandi’s accusations that Lisa manipulates her or anyone else.

Click here to read Carlton’s full blog

“I didn’t see the tabloid that Brandi had in her home and I certainly didn’t hear Lisa say take it. I’m sure it would have been a conversation piece on our ride down to Palm Desert.”

Brandi must be pissed that her friends aren’t backing her up. Yolanda said the same thing, she never saw any tabloids.

“I honestly don’t understand what has happened between Lisa and Brandi for it to have become so hostile. It’s confusing to say the least”

Jealousy, plain and simple. Not that confusing. I guess the love affair between Brandi and Carlton is coming to an end. Carlton might be crazy but she isn’t stupid and knows that Lisa Vanderpump is a much better friend to have than Brandi fucking Glanville. Although I’m assuming Lisa is smart enough to know that associating with the likes of Carlton isn’t good for her reputation. So this is just a lose/lose situation for everyone – except Lisa of course.

Finally, all it took was a little lesbian action for Carlton to say something nice about Kyle…

“Ah, the sport of motorboating!. . .The first time I’ve actually seen Kyle genuinely let her hair down. Good for her.”

Goodbye Carlton. We won’t miss you next season.

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Screen shot 2014-03-12 at 12.40.57 PMJoyce: Kyle Is Being Influenced By The Wrong People
Joyce wishes that Kyle could see through Brandi’s agenda

Read Joyce’s full blog here

Joyce broke all the Housewife rules and decided to tell the truth in her blog despite her friendship with Kyle. Here are some interesting excerpts:

“After the Puerto Rico trip, I advised Kyle to really look at who instigated what. As much as I like Kyle, I do believe she was being influenced by the wrong people.”

“I told this to Kyle on multiple occasions as I didn’t understand how she was believing every word Brandi said after Brandi had tried to talk crap about both Kyle and Kim to me from the beginning.”

“I saw Brandi and Scheana talk and agree to move on and get past their differences. I’ve seen Brandi being “nice” to Scheana (or at least “fake-nice,” since I have experienced first hand that Brandi mastered that art). Brandi was “over” the Scheana issue. For her to now bring this up out of left field simply in order to find another contrived reason to attack Lisa, is vicious and lame at the same time. Lisa has been a great friend to Brandi. She even defended Brandi’s inexcusable behavior to me earlier in the season.”

“The most painful to watch was that Ken barely even touched Yolanda when she swatted him away. My husband and I didn’t see the alleged aggression when it occurred. After Ken and Lisa left, Yolanda was shaking like a leaf, almost crying, and saying that she had never had a man put his hands on her. This became a big deal at the party and Carlton, Kyle, and myself were all shocked and felt genuinely sorry for her — to the point where my husband gave Yolanda his jacket. Now that I have seen the “abuse” and it looks much more like Ken just reaching for her hand, I can’t believe she would go to such lengths and try to assassinate his character.”

This is really interesting. I wish Bravo would have shown this, why are they holding back on all the good stuff? What the hell? This is more proof of how much Yolanda loves to be the victim. I re watched that scene a few times, and Ken didn’t even touch her. He pointed his finger at her and then she slapped him away like royalty who is offended that a commoner would dare try to  touch her delicate skin. I’ve really come to dislike Yolanda this season. She is just an awful woman.

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Screen shot 2014-03-12 at 1.53.57 PMKyle still hasn’t written her blog yet. But I’m sure it will be the same bla bla blaing about how much she loves Lisa and if Lisa would just cut off her left pinky finger and write KR + LV = BFF 4EVA in blood on the Hollywood walk of fame then they could just move on and be friends again.

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Basically Housewives is High School all over again. Lisa is the prom queen.
Yolanda is the exchange student who no one understands, but they want to be friends with her because she’s rich and pretty.
Brandi is the slut giving BJ’s behind the bleachers after school, but the girls put up with her because sneaks them free weed from her dad’s stash.
Kyle is the airhead with the crazy sister, but they’re on TV and know the Jackson’s so they’re allowed to sit at the cool table at lunch, although Kim spends most of the time in the bathroom snorting Ritalin she bought from Brandi.
Carlton is the weird kid dressed in all black who eats lunch alone, but dreams that one day the prom queen will be her friend. She hooks up with girls at parties to try to make boys like her… but it doesn’t work. She tries to be interesting by adopting strange religions, but that also doesn’t work. No one finds her interesting, just weird.
Joyce is the hyper cheerleader who tries way too hard to be friends with everyone and is always smiling too much and trying to convince everyone how perfect she is.
They all want to be BFF’s with the prom queen, because as we all know, in high school girls can only have ONE best friend. They couldn’t accept that Lisa was equally nice to all of them, they each wanted to be special and better than the others. So instead of dealing with their jealousy like adults, they all decided to band together and get rid of source of their jealousy and insecurity.
Without Lisa and her perfectness around, they can all feel better about themselves and push their massive insecurities into the back of their minds where they can ignore it’s existence…. for now.

I found this picture on Bravotv.com. So David was at the finale. I wonder if he came late, or if he just purposely stays away from the cameras. I wouldn’t want to be filmed if I were him. Yolanda is embarrassing.

Screen shot 2014-03-11 at 12.28.57 AM

I forgot to add the ladies final words at the end of my recap yesterday. So here they are:

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103 comments

  1. I am still laughing. Loved it.
    As for blogs. I tried posting my comment on Lisa’s Bravo blog a zillion times and nothing was posted. I wished it was there,so, of mind, can I post it here if Lisa reads this.
    Lisa, I know you are fed up with the traumatic experience these “women” have put you through. Their disrespect of you and Ken was appalling. You did not deserve such vicious accusations. You and Ken are the loveliest, most hard-working beautiful intelligent beings there are. Ken has worked hard to achieve what he has from a young age with a young child. He married you, a steadfast partner through life which has formed a partnership with the ability to achieve greatness and raise the lovely children you have together. Others can only dream to aspire to have such a long lasting marriage and businesses as well.
    It is a shame that others’ jealousy seems to be the root of all evil. I don’t wish to utter or write their names. I would not wish to taint the beauty and sweetness of the Vanderpumps with their names on the same written page. They do not deserve a mention. My hope is that you continue on the path of success… and hopefully reality TV only with true friends and family…only because I would miss seeing you on TV since I admire you so much…selfish of me. You don’t need any of it, really. You have already achieved greatness in my book.

      1. you can if you say something nice and neutral. The only reason negative ones are being put on is that they would have none for some of the wives, Brandi, Kyle, Yolanda, Kim. It is a wast of a site.

      2. WOW…..I thought it’s only happening to me…..Bravo didn’t posted anything from me for some reason either…….

  2. Sorry, I meant to say I hope you don’t mind, but I am not happy about Bravo not letting me post a comment at all over two days.
    I won’t make it a habit, clearly.

    1. Don’t worry, it’s not you, Bravo does that quite often. I have a post that has been “pending” since last Monday. They suck!

    2. i posted several and nothing, they are really censoring their comments. It’s a waste to go to that site. It is not fan friendly!

      1. Not at all… they censor like crazy. That’s one of the reasons I started my own blog, because I had shit to say and I wanted to say it! If Bravo would have just let my comments go through, this blog might not exist right now. Lol

    3. They had my post “pending for 3 days and then poof it was gone. It was not a bad post–I wrote Yo as I have had Lyme for 10 yrs. I did however point out some of my issues with her but in a very respectful way. Then I see posters who are posted more than one>>>

      1. You need a Not Safe For Work banner or Not Safe For Coffee banner. You’ve absofraginlutely nailed these idiots. There are waaay too many good lines I need to incorporate into my everyday speech (current fav is the beating the dead horse line). Bravo really does need to have you on Watch What Happens. I would actually watch what happens, you know? Thanks for making my day at work great! Doughnuts for everybody!

        1. One more thing-I noticed when brandi bitched about Lisa and their “friendship” to anyone who would listen, she was using the same terms others had previously used. For instance chess playing to Kyle (didn’t Kyle complain in a previous reunion show that Lisa was like a chess player?) . There were others I just can’t remember them now. I noticed because I had a friend who used to do that…play on known insecurities using the same phrases because she was too much of a dolt to think of her own. I digress. Love your blog. Never. Stop. Writing.

          1. Yeah well I learned to move my keyboard away danger while I read-now if I could convince my co-worker I am laughing at invoices and spread sheets…Gawd you would be great on the reunion show! Take Andy’s place!

            1. That’s my dream in life.
              My reunion would have lie detectors and cattle prods. I would also have tons of hidden camera footage. There will be no lying on my reunions.
              Although I might choke a bitch, then there would be a lawsuit… so maybe it’s not the best idea.
              I’ll just keep it as a dream.

              1. I too would love for you to be on the reunions! Make sure, in the words of our long lost harpy Jill Zarin, to bring “your notes” and to “show the footage” b/c only then will these bitches ever be truly called out on their horrible behavior and contradictory recollections.

  3. your blogs is just so spot on and ridiculously funny ! you are smart ..the women are not ….(apart from lisa that is) they thought they could deceive us but they were sadly mistaken and stupid for trying to discredit an amazing women …she is perfect FLAWS AND ALL

  4. When she wasn’t obsessing over Lisa she was begging for sympathy for her Lyme Disease. I’m starting to wonder if she didn’t just make the whole thing up for attention. After seeing her behavior this season, I think she’s totally capable of it.
    She probably just decided that she feels like lounging around the house for a few months while people wait on her hand and foot, and friends come to visit her in her chambers like a queen holding court in her castle… it was probably fun, and driving to Beverly Hills takes soooo long, especially in traffic.
    Hey, don’t judge her, if you had that bedroom and that view you might not want to leave it either.

    ARE YOU SERIOUS? DO YOU KNOW HOW DEADLY AND LIFE ENDING LYME DISEASE IS? i LOST MY HOME, MY JOB, ANY CHANCE OF PAYING MY BILLS AFTER EXPENSES FOR MIS-TREATMENT DUE TO LYME. NO ONE WANTS TO LIE IN BED, SICK AS A DOG W/FLU, MUSCLES AND JOINTS ON FIRE AND BRAINFOG SO THAT I FORGOT TO SPEAK OR CARE FOR MYSELF.

    PLEASE, GET YOUR MESSAGE ACROSS W/O DEGRADING COMMENTS ABOUT A DISEASE YOU OR SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE WILL EXPERIENCE VERY SHORTLY, SIMPLY FROM A BITE BY A TICK.

    SHAME ON YOU……..JUST SHAME ON YOU FOR DISMISSING IT AS A STORY LINE. IT MAKES A JOKE OF ALL WHO SUFFER THIS HORRIBLE LIFE ALTERING ILLNESS.

    1. Marianne no disrespect but lighten up…this blog was done in fun. The blogger was not making fun of the disease, the blogger was making fun of drama queen Yolanda. It’s sad that people can’t see humor when it’s staring you in the face. As a cancer survivor I don’t make noise when someone jokes about cancer…life is too short, live it, love it, and laugh always.

      1. I don’t laugh at cancer jokes…….Several of the folks in my lyme support group have had cancer. They said chemo was a breeze compared to lyme.

        I just get so mad, so I apologize for caps, because I suffer every day and night and docs used to act like I was just lazy, or looking for attention or was just a woman of a certain age…..when finally diagnosed, 15 years later, damage has been done and my life, or what it is, is broken for good. Granted, Yolanda has only had it for 2 years so I cannot speak for her.

        So sorry, didn’t mean to steal attention away from the fun. Just kills me when anyone minimizes it. BTW, my best girl dog got lyme too. She died of heart related issues several weeks later. Ok, sorry…..another tangent meant for a lighter blog. I’m very sorry.

        1. It’s not to minimize lyme disease, it’s just the fact that anytime Yolanda does something rude, hearts on cards, or rude comments she instantly falls back to Lyme disease. Lisa didn’t come to see her when she was bed ridden, okay. She make it seem like she had no family, no friends and Lisa held the cure and just held off giving it to her. I’m not knocking lyme disease, my father in law had it, it didn’t make him rude and pompous. Just saying.

        2. Marianne,
          I too have Lyme disease and due to a late DX –like you the damage was done. I did however have a brilliant Doc who did test for it. Like you–it disabled me and I had to stop working as a nurse. The fun continues as now it appears to be attacking the nerves in my spine after already settling in every joint.

          But I do not think the blogger meant any ill will and lets face it–Yo does use it at an excuse. You and I can not afford the holistic and experimental treatments she is having. If she wants to advocate–then how about we hear her do that instead of counting how many came to visit?

          Lyme is epidemic in the U.S. and slowly awareness is coming as now the over DX of things like Fibromyalgia have in fact proven to be Lyme. I could go on but this is not the place–sorry guys. However one more thing–for those of you with Kids–please check them as Lyme is deadly to children. Ok im done.

          Marianne–if you would like to talk about this and trade war stories :) You can e-mail me at dlcooleywi@hotmail.com.

          I hope I didn’t break any rules here–did I? Love this blog–love the humor :)
          Debbie

    2. Calm down Yolanda. I’m not calling you a liar, I’m just saying you say things that are untrue in order to gain sympathy and attention. Lay off the caps lock please, you’re giving me a headache.

      1. Ok, thank you for making me laugh. Glad I can still do that…….maybe in my dreams. Though I would still like my own husband rather than David.

        Truth be told, I follow Yo b/c she has the means and power to hopefully find a cure. So no, off the mark on this one.

        And to the owner of the blog? Sorry for threadjack as I get too sensitive sometimes about lyme tickborne disease. If you want to delete my comments, that’s ok.

        Actually, I’m a little embarrassed and tried to delete my comments myself but couldn’t.

        Ok, I’m going back to bed as even this kicked my butt for the day. Peace!

      2. I hope we don’t have to chase you and demand an apology from you! Hell we chased you for over a year and couldn’t even find you.

  5. This blog was great… of course, retweeted by the fabulous Lisa Vanderpump herself. Great writing…entertaining.. loved it!

    1. Oh Good!! I’m glad Lisa read the blog, she deserves the support especially after dealing with so much dumb all season. The Slattern was the worst!! Saw her on WWHL saying the nasty things that were the Worst. RHOBH without Lisa will be a boring trifling mess! Thanks Brandi the Slattern!!

      But really, thanks PYHU! You did a great job with these BH harridans and Lisa. I’m so glad you are writing again!! XXOO

  6. Marianne no disrespect but lighten up…this blog was done in fun. The blogger was not making fun of the disease, the blogger was making fun of drama queen Yolanda. It’s sad that people can’t see humor when it’s staring you in the face. As a cancer survivor I don’t make noise when someone jokes about cancer…life is too short, live it, love it, and laugh always.

  7. Excellent blog and photos, specially the Prom picture with their husbands. I was very creeped out by some random man on this episode positioning himself behind Lisa on every Freacking scene of this 100th BHils party episode ( no Mayor no high society, only HW’s and random creepy people in attendance) well I just noticed he looks a lot like Carlton’s husband, so it must have been one of his brothers trying to audition for next year by frantically getting camera time. I thought for a moment the ladies might end the season with a real live stalker, sent by Adrianne or maybe Cedric, or maybe even LeAnn hired a hit man. Wow that would have been best season ending in Bravo’s history like “who shoot JR?” But with twitter and all it would never be a cliffhanger for next season. *Sorry my imagination again*

    Looking forward to your RHONY :) <3

  8. This was so funny.I have to say they hit pretty close on some of the characters especially the girl gang. I HAD A REALLY GOOD LAUGH

  9. How many other illegal aliens show up to take their citizenship test one on one with a lawyer? Her lawyer was there on her big day!

    1. LMAO! Cause it’s true, never heard of the need for a lawyer to take that test. Maybe since she’s married to Foster she was expecting a Ticker tape parade or the Boston Pops Orchestra & she invited the lawyer cause she’s all VIP & stuff – I’m surprised she dint throw a refrigerator viewing party of all her American food and cleanses.

    2. I know for a fact (I became American Citizen on October 24, 2008.) That I did not have a lawyer for the exam, my husband was not allowed to be with me either. When I went to the Ceremony I had my husband. We were at least 250 people becoming Americans and there were just like 20 places for visitors. (In L.A. I know the crowd is larger than in Las Vegas where I had my Citizenship Ceremony).

      Yolanda -if she could have someone with her- must to have been just ONE! No way she needed Lisa there! I wish I could show you a photo my hubby took and you will see there is no space for family or friends.

      Just that comment about how Lisa is a bad friend, tells you how big fat liar is Yolanda!

  10. Ok – What is with David showing up in jeans; did he just stop by to pick Yolanda up and she forced him to come in to take a picture so people would stop thinking/realizing that he doesn’t want to go anywhere with her? And, that kiss of theirs is beyond awkward. Yolanda is trying to kiss him and he is trying to avoid her and his face looks like he’s sucking a lemon (pun intended).

      1. I’ve thought about your brain too, not the living arrangements, cause I think it will be pretty crowded in there with all that grey matter, but I would like to visit from time to time ;)

  11. Another great recap. I also tried posting on the Bravo site. This time to Leann’s husband’s ex-wife:

    Of course Sheanna never worked at SUR before the finale party. It was the GRAND OPENING, Sparky.

  12. Did anyone else think the big gala was a bit empty? If the housewives and their friends were not there, it would have been 10 people.

    1. I was saying the same thing. I highly doubt the city of BHills would hold a Gala like that – I’m pretty sure it was made up for Bravo, they needed a neutral event where they would all go, under the circumstances. The rest of the crowd were all friends of theirs and stalkers.

  13. Brilliant blog. BTW, There are many people who really suffer from Lyme’s Disease & sorry to read about a fellow fan’s affliction. We’re just not sure Yolanda is one of them. Some bloggers on the Vulture RHOBH site retraced Yolanda’s activities during the time she was allegedly confined to her Malibu home with only 1 visit from Hollywood Friend Lisa. For a housebound invalid, Yo was on the go: a vacation cruise, an amusement park visit that included a roller coaster ride and so on. If she really wanted people to feel sorry for her not being able to leave the house, then maybe she shouldn’t have twittered about all the places she was going out to.

        1. Found it: (copy/paste from Vulture.com comments)

          burdy 6 days ago
          @ksider @burdy It isn’t all that tough. She dates the lockdown to two weeks after the Kyle party (Oct.11, 2012), so that’s late October 2012. Season four started filming in June 2013. Simple arithmetic says she wasn’t counting the cracks on the wall (actually, she says the lights on the ceiling) for 18 months because that’s only nine months.

          Then we go to her twitter timeline and we see that in 2013, she is at Tarjay in November:
          YOLANDA ‏@YolandaHFoster Nov 25
          “@SRstephanie__: Saw @YolandaHFoster at target right now but was toooo chicken to ask for a picture, ugh my favorite housewife!So cute, xo

          Cleaning and organizing her closet in October:
          YOLANDA ‏@YolandaHFoster Oct 29
          ❤️Something about cleaning and organizing makes me feel good #happytobehome pic.twitter.com/PztVpClhms

          Baking gluten free bread:
          YOLANDA ‏@YolandaHFoster Oct 21
          ❤️My only family member awake at 4Am, baking a gluten free bread for @AnwarHadid #Happy2bbackindkitchen pic.twitter.com/yLqUti59u5

          Flying to Holland:
          YOLANDA ‏@YolandaHFoster Oct 12
          ❤️On my way to Holland to surprise my Mommy at the hospital in Holland. So excited to see my family pic.twitter.com/PLPLFj8qIA

          And my favorite:
          YOLANDA ‏@YolandaHFoster Sep 22
          ❤I did it! biggest roller coaster in Canada Wonderland with @GiGiHadid and screamed like never before! #Invigorating #MotherDaughterActivity

          Yeah. That’s a high priority when you are almost dying.

          So it is all right there if you have the time to waste and before she deletes the tweets..

            1. Married for 31 years and still happy, that’s quite an achievement and something to be jealous of, if one is the jealous type … which obviously Yo & Brandi are! I’ve never understood how two intelligent & classy people like Ken & Lisa had anything in common with a skanky, foul mouthed, trashy person like Brandi. And it seemed like Lisa was genuinely fond of her. As for YoFo, her real friend/fake friend posts are getting a tad old. She apparently claimed that she was only on the show as a stepping stone, it was her job not her reality (erm, it IS a reality show is it not?) and called the other ladies (& one tramp) “clowns”, as told by My Love King David to Canadian radio! So … who’s the fake one then?

          1. DAMN! I tried to really empathize with Yocrazy because I am Scandinavian as well, and it is really really difficult at times with the language difference, and YES, we have different expectations of people that claim to be our friends but seriously???? This is just too F’ed up for words. I think she is dealing with personal issues in her marriage and family life and now it is bleeding over into interpersonal relationships. Sad but I get it.

            1. I agree things, are not all good in the Foster home. Her complaints about Lisa sound like something she should be saying to her husband… not a girlfriend who isn’t even that close in the first place.

              Lisa should just let Yo decorate a guest room in her house so she’ll be happy and shut up.

          2. I didn’t figure she was laid out in her mansion for 18/9 months or whatever, still can’t figure why she was so bent out of shape for Lisa not visiting her, was there a reception book at the entrance to verify each housewife visit. Is there a copy at David Foster’s piano stand. Did Andy visit, or maybe the President, I mean he could count it as a state visit to Holland. Ridiculous.

          3. Burdy is my fave HW investigator! She finds ALL the real scoop. Does she drop into the crackhouse? I can’t recall from the glory days of yore…

    1. Yeah her being bed ridden, sounded ridiculous. Why was she suddenly bright eyed and bushy tailed when cameras went up. She was all over the place this year, guess she found the strength to take down a Hollywood friend.

  14. This is absolutely spot on!! Great blog. What do they all want from Lisa? She is the LEAST demanding when it comes to them – she never expects anything from them apart from Kyle to own the fact that she was not loyal and I think she has even given up on that. They’re all so needy when it comes to Lisa and expect so much more from her than they give back or expect from the other HWs. Lisa doesn’t do shouting matches and confrontation as well as the other ladies – she never puts up a fight but just sits back and resigns herself to the fact that they’ve chosen to damage the relationship. From the clips I’ve seen she can barely get a word in.

  15. One more thing, did anyone else notice when ken grudgingly said hello to yo an Kyle, his “how are you” sounded like he was no longer from England, but from Brooklyn?

  16. Oh my goodness, I just discovered your blog a few days ago. I haven’t laughed this much since the last time I watched Ellen … which wasn’t recently! Spot on with how you called it. Lisa is the Prom Queen for sure. I haven’t mainlined my daily quota of caffeine yet so I wont write much except to say Bravo (snicker snicker) on a well written, humorous, brilliant blog. BTW, I’m having trouble commenting on bravo as well. It’s still pending after two days which is annoying as hell. It’s not like Yolanda reads or responds to comments on her blog or FB page but even if she did, she wouldn’t know truth or honesty if it bit on her butt!!

  17. Why would David show up to this party in blue jeans and a pullover when everyone else is all decked out? (Haha at least his outfit matched the plastic drink cups.) Yolanda must have called him in tears after Ken had the nerve to breathe in her surrounding airspace. Yolanda has been over-reacting to Ken all season. What’s up with that? Clearly, Ken dots on his girl Lisa, and Yolanda is green with envy.

  18. If you read Yolanda’s blog from last year, you will see that she had a problem with EVERY housewife except Brandi. She did compliment Lisa and Ken pretty often although there were plenty of insults for Lisa. Yo states she was jealous of Brandi & Lisa’s ‘real’ friendship because Yo claims it’s difficult to find real friends in Hollywood. Then Yo states in her blog beginning of this season, ‘why wouldn’t Lisa fire Schenna if she truly loved Brandi, then Brandi started saying that. Brandi doesn’t see that it’s Yoda that is the master manipulator not Lisa. Let’s see how long Brandi and Yoda are friends when the control freak Yolanda tells Brandi what to do, ‘cos we all know, Yoda bosses everyone around.

  19. LOL…listened to Watch What Crappens..they are saying that Bravo turned off the comments because too many negative comments to the other housewives. Also claims that the storyline with Brandi attacking Lisa was way worse and the fan backlash was so great they reshot some of those scenes….?? I don’t know… what I do know….you nail it RCH…who would have thought that stupidity could be so entertaining? Keep up the good work…very curious to see how you recap the upcoming reunions.

  20. Found this website via a post on Lisa’s twitter page. OMG. Flipping hilarious. Awesome recap!!! Agree 10000% with what you wrote. I’m marking this site as a favorite. Going to read it every day (hoping you post that often). I have liked Lisa Vanderpump since the first season. Classy lady. I live about 4 hours from Los Angeles. I’m thinking I need to dine at Villa Blanca or SUR, just for the chance to see Lisa & Co. I’m off to read some of your older blogs. Keep writing, you are very talented and funny.

  21. Brandi is going to be on Celebrity Apprentice. Only shows that Trump is scraping the bottom of the barrel. Good luck to him and any Brand that wants that representing it.

    1. OMG talk about raunchy and low class Brandi! I saw someone tweet that picture of her, with no panties & exiting a car 😱 – she should get her $ back from the Dr. that did her vaginal rejuvenation procedure, she needs to take a sabbatical on sex, the woman is all used up. Gross!

      1. Yes it’s true, and also Kenya Moore. Now how much to bet that Trump put both Brandi and Kenya on merely for drama’s sake. Guess desperate measures. I didn’t even realize it was still on.

        1. Clearly it’s just for drama, I mean why not put actual business people like Lisa or Ramona or Heather on a show about business? … no, pick the two women who don’t work and love to say crazy things. Lol

      1. Realistically, who besides Yolanda and Kyle would agree to talk, much less film with Brandi in the new season of RHOBH (assuming Kim is gone)? It only makes sense if Brandi is let go from the show. Maybe Bravo can trade her to Spike TV or HSN for a player to be named later!

  22. Just found this blog !! Its fantastic. Im in the Uk so I stream the shows next day after you get to see them. Im loving the humour and all the comments. Im away to catch up on the rest of the site

  23. I’ve just found your blog and I LOVE IT. Spot on! You’re saying in your blogs the exact things I’m screaming out to my TV. Will you PLEASE post blogs on Reunions #2 and #3?

  24. I thought maybe you were waiting for the reunion to be over before u posted–well its over. Is everything ok?

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