Why is the cast of Vanderpump Rules so awful?

Seriously though…. These people are legitimately some of the worst human beings I’ve witnessed on Tv. And I watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey and Mob Wives. Like… I am legitimately worried for the future children of these soulless human beings. Even the Jersey Shore kids had some redeemable qualities and had real friendships with each other despite being drunken promiscuous trouble makers. I can’t find even one good thing to say about any of these SUR employees.

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The welcoming committee at the gates of Hell

Screen shot 2014-01-14 at 9.31.51 PMStassi, who dominates the show with her insufferable personality, is a jealous sociopathic control freak who wants everyone in her life to be as miserable as she is. She was cheated on, so she is on a mission to prove that all her friend’s boyfriends are cheating too.
Of course they are, but still, it’s not her place to play private detective and interrogate the shit out of people until they tell her what she wants to hear just so she’ll stop. Come on Stassi, interrogations obtained through torture are never reliable, you should know that.
It’s also really really not her place to drop the bombs of info she’s gathered into the lap of her so-called friend in the middle of a vacation in Mexico. Stassi was almost joyful when she finally  had “proof” that Tom had cheated on Kristen, and became enraged at the fact that Kristen decided to forgive him anyway. I think it’s quite fitting that she shares a name with Nazi Germany’s police force. I wonder if her parents named her that, or if she gave herself the name because it describes her personality so well.

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Kristen has no self-respect what-so-ever and even admits that hearing that Tom has cheated on her makes her “want to be closer to him”.
Now that’s just ten different levels of fucked up….
She constantly walks around looking as though she’s on the verge of tears and only seems to use a hair brush about half the time despite being on Tv. Kristen isn’t ugly exactly… but Tom is a real pretty boy, and I think maybe Kristen would feel more confident in her relationship if she was with someone who was more on her level of attractiveness. Just sayin…

Personally, I wouldn’t date a guy who spends more time in the bathroom getting ready than I do. That would just be weird. And when you add together the outfits he wears plus his willingness to play spin the bottle with other guys…. I think a lot of their relationship drama could be stemming from the fact that he’s just not into chicks.

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Then there is the girl whose name I can’t remember with the pumpkin colored hair that looks like she cuts it herself in the dark.
She always looks fucking miserable and sulks around like an abused woman. She’s just a mess from beginning to end. But while the others appear to be vapid to the core, this one just seems broken – which unlike being soulless is actually fixable. She should probably get a 9-5, some normal friends, and stay far away from this crew… and alcohol.
Pumpkin Head’s boyfriend threw a drink at her one night and then hurled insults at her during a group dinner the next… but instead of kicking his ass to the curb, she just wines and cries about why he isn’t nicer to her.
These boys (I can’t even call them men despite their chronological ages) do things I would consider unforgivable no matter how many apologies might spill from their mouths, yet these girls forgive them without so much as a half assed apology, knowing full well that they will repeat the same behavior again the next day. I don’t get it…

I notice the theme with these women is “please please please love me and don’t ever leave me no matter what
It’s sad. And pathetic. As much as I don’t like Stassi, at least she has some balls and the ability to stand up for herself (and then walk all over everyone around her)

Oh , and then there is Jax… pathological liar / worlds worst secret keeper who loves to stir the pot. He never matured past the age of about 10 years old. This guy needs his ass kicked very badly. A few good shots to that fat head of his might actually knock some sense into him. Ya never know.
There doesn’t seem to be anyone in his life that he’s loyal to. No secret is safe with this guy, he even rats himself out, and then lies about it… in front of the cameras. Not a whole lot of logic going on inside that brain of his.
Jax will never be able to have a normal relationship with anyone because he can never be with the one true love of his life: himself.

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I don’t have much to say about Scheana and her boyfriend. I don’t think they’re any better than the others, just quieter. But what goes around comes around and one day Karma is gonna slap Scheana in the face when her new husband cheats on her. That’s assuming they ever even make it down the aisle. I’m not optimistic about that.

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I might like Ariana, I think I’ve caught her looking at the others with the same disgust I feel for them. But I’ll reserve judgment on her for now because I haven’t seen enough of her yet.

I love Lisa but what the fuck is wrong with her. I wouldn’t have expected her to put up with such unprofessionalism from her employees.
But I guess the problem is that in a place like Beverly HIlls every waiter and bartender is an aspiring model or actor and that brings along with it all the psychosis and personality disorders required for those professions. I suppose the money Lisa makes from the show must make all their narcissistic drama worth dealing with.

While watching Housewives is a guilty pleasure, watching this show just makes me feel guilty. I don’t even want to watch it, but I keep falling into Bravo’s trap. They count on us being too lazy  to switch shows in between Housewives and WWHL, and because of said laziness I have now seen the show more times than I wish to admit. Well played Andy, well played.

Kristen and Tom were the most useless WWHL guests EVER. They refused to answer any question honestly. Everything was innuendo’s and stupid jokes that weren’t funny to anyone but them. It’s clear the fame of the show has gone to their heads. They need to remember that they aren’t super stars, they’re waiters on Bravo. Come back to earth guys.

Tom thinks I’m trying to start a blog. Lol. Been there done that thank you.



  1. Thank you.
    Best post ever-
    laughing so hard, agree with EVERYTHING you said!
    –wish I was responding with the smartphone so I
    could just press the speaker button and start talking.
    I have too much to say, can’t type that!!
    really great post.

  2. Great stuff, love that he answered your tweet with all that lame cluelessness. (Add cluelessness to the 2014 Crackhouse Dictionary please)

  3. I think Lisa came to Bravo with a concept. Re-create an MTV classic *koff koff* The Hills – using her bartenders and waitresses by night – out of work actors and actresses by day.

    They all get together before the season begins and decide what *dramatic* event will be happening in each of the their lives giving them a story line, then they Stanislavski the phuck out of each filming. Lisa included.

    As much as I like Lisa, she’s an actress – and I think a good one. I mean being around that many Heidi and Spencers (herpes simplex 1 &2) within a city block, let alone a building? There’d have’ta be a hefty six figures (or more) to share the same camera with so many *20sumptin, untalented , wanna bes*

    Now the DIY Network. THAT’S reality TV! People breakin water pipes, gas leaks, phucking up bearing walls, and multiple trips to the ER – I can realate to that shit.

    By-the-who…I was in Sur twice when I was attending a class. It had been shown on RHOBH but VPR hadn’t started yet.

    Harassed the bartender about who buys followers on twatter. Din’t see any of the Herpes clones while we were there. Of course, I din’t check the alley.

    If I ever go there again, I’m makin reservations for outside seatin – in that phuckin alley! All the good stuff happens there! :0) ya notice how it’s changed from Season 1 with a couple broken chairs and a bunch of boxes to a builtin booth and seating for 10?

  4. I think everyone at Sur except Peter are absolutely the most moronic, stupid, narcissitic, and homely people I have ever seen on tv. Sheanna is so disgustingly arrogant and thinks she is just perfect that I want to barf. Jax is just stupid. I can’t believe Tom is a model wearing his dumb ass hat and glasses. He is gross. Ditto for Kristen. I really wish she would comb her hair. Stassi thinks she is the only one in the world that exists I live Lisa and Ken but I think they should fire everyone except Peter.

    1. Amen brother I agree with everything you’re saying I can’t believe they watch their self on TV it would do something about it and be disgusted with their selves

  5. I don’t know if I can watch the show anymore between stassi Kristen in Katy I’m so tired to listen to their phony backstabbing when they are just nasty skanky women but they talk about everybody else they need to mind their own freaking business I can’t hardly even watch the show anymore because of them

  6. Watched this show a couple of times because I like Lisa. What a waste of time. These children are the most useless, narcisistic, arrogant, liars I have seen on tv. These people think they have cured cancer the way they act. They aren’t special or famous or the best looking, in fact a couple are quite homely, (Tom Sandoval & Kristen who never combs her hair.) Where did you find these two. Hate Schaena, Stassi and the rest except for Peter, who is my favorite. Their parents should take responsibility for how shallow their children are.

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