Let’s talk about the blogs
Yolanda: I Have A Problem With Lisa As A Victim
Yolanda laments Lisa’s inability to address the situation, and asserts that she’s not jealous of anything of Lisa’s, minus her health.
I’m not going to post Yolanda’s entire blog because it was basically 6 pages of complaining that Lisa doesn’t love her enough, and Lisa isn’t a good enough friend, and Lisa didn’t visit her enough. I almost (almost) believe her when she says she isn’t jealous of Lisa, this looks more like obsession than jealousy – actually it’s probably both. Yolanda has some serious personality issues going on. But it’s not her fault, she has LYME DISEASE incase anyone forgot.
“I can sleep fine at night knowing that even though my honesty might not translate very diplomatically, the words I speak have good intent and I live my life with great integrity.”
Someone needs to buy Yolanda a dictionary defining the words “honesty”, “good intent” and “integrity”.
Hey, let’s play Mad Libs and make Yolanda’s blog more accurate. Fill in the blanks:
I can sleep fine at night knowing that even though my ________ might not translate very diplomatically, the words I speak have _______ and I live my life with great _______
Yolanda has more to say:
“I’m not speaking about what some audience members think was “ganging up” on Lisa. I’m telling you my own personal truth: I simply wanted to have a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend who wouldn’t even validate my feelings.”
“She showed up in the middle of the day to see David get his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but yet didn’t bother to come to see me be sworn in as a U.S. citizen, a major life moment for me.”
You don’t hear Lisa complaining that Yolanda didn’t go with her to get the permits for her new restaurant.
“she decided after the dinner that we were ganging up against her as a group rather then individuals with separate and specific issues that at least should be heard out of respect.”
“With absolute respect for who Lisa is and the life she’s created for herself, I can say that there’s nothing Lisa has or is that I’m jealous of, except for maybe her health. I don’t mean this to be arrogant and dismissive. In fact, just the opposite. I’m not in competition with Lisa (or anyone) — but the claim that we’re jealous of her gives an insight into her mindset. I’m just trying to live the best version I can of my life.”
Respect from friends, from people in the business world, from people around town, and most importantly – from Yolanda’s ex husband.
Yolanda is nothing but an air head with a pretty face, while Lisa is a pretty face who is respected for her mind as well. That is what Yolanda is jealous of and she’s a fucking liar if she tries to say otherwise.
When she wasn’t obsessing over Lisa she was begging for sympathy for her Lyme Disease. I’m starting to wonder if she didn’t just make the whole thing up for attention. After seeing her behavior this season, I think she’s totally capable of it.
She probably just decided that she feels like lounging around the house for a few months while people wait on her hand and foot, and friends come to visit her in her chambers like a queen holding court in her castle… it was probably fun, and driving to Beverly Hills takes soooo long, especially in traffic.
Hey, don’t judge her, if you had that bedroom and that view you might not want to leave it either.
Brandi: I Know How Mrs. Vanderpump Rolls
Brandi reflects on how she feels used by Lisa when Scheana comes around
Brandi wrote absolutely nothing new in her blog. She’s still complaining about Scheana and insisting that she love’s Lisa even though she’s a manipulative mind controlling master chess player who secretly controls Beverly Hills.
She had this to say about her conversation with Carlton at the finale:
” I am close friends with Carlton, and I have never once spoken to her about my issues with Lisa — because they don’t involve her and I know that she and Lisa are friends and I would never disrupt a friendship.”
Ok….. suuuuuure Brandi. Whatever you say.
Brandi also has some facts to share with us:
“Here are the facts: Scheana has been BFF with Pandy for five years. The drama of my divorce took place five years ago. Scheana never worked at SUR until the night of our final party. Scheena was a Villa Blanca employee. Why was she at SUR? Lisa is incredibly close to all of her employees, as you see on her show. How on earth did she not know about Scheana and Edddie? Why the f— was Scheana at SUR that night? Also if Lisa didn’t know why would she constantly ask me to interact with this woman that reminded me of the most horrific time in my life. Does Lisa care about me, or am I just part ofVanderpump Rules?”
“you weren’t cheated on while being friends with Lisa. Lisa didn’t then go and hire the mistress just to hurt your feelings every time you came to her restaurant commercial shoots. You got it backwards.
Lisa hired a gorgeous bimbo for her restaurant, because gorgeous bimbos are the only people allowed to wait tables in LA. Gorgeous bimbo fucked someone’s husbands, and gorgeous bimbo waitresses are bound to do, and then said bimbo got interviewed on Entertainment Tonight. YOU found out bimbo was working for a famous reality star, pretended to be friends with someone connected to said star to worm yourself into her life on a night you KNEW there would be cameras present. Then you continued to lie to said reality star about how you were connected to her life and built a fake friendship with her, all the while knowing that the gorgeous bimbo who fucked your husband worked for said reality star and would give you a storyline on not one but TWO reality shows. Then you dumped the reality star because you finally got sick of pretending to be her friend and going to her house and flirting with her old man husband and gagging from all the silent fahts. You’re a full fledged D Lister now. Why should you put yourself through all the fakery?
Ah. Breath. I just had to write that all out so I could see plainly who this manipulative bitch is. Lisa, I mean. Of course.”
Brandi also apologized for not having a blog last week, but considering all she writes is non sense and lies, I guess we didn’t really miss anything.
Does anyone care what Kim has to say? I don’t. Moving on…
Carlton: Is not Lisa’s Puppet
Carlton rolls her eyes at Brandi’s accusations that Lisa manipulates her or anyone else.
“I didn’t see the tabloid that Brandi had in her home and I certainly didn’t hear Lisa say take it. I’m sure it would have been a conversation piece on our ride down to Palm Desert.”
Brandi must be pissed that her friends aren’t backing her up. Yolanda said the same thing, she never saw any tabloids.
“I honestly don’t understand what has happened between Lisa and Brandi for it to have become so hostile. It’s confusing to say the least”
Jealousy, plain and simple. Not that confusing. I guess the love affair between Brandi and Carlton is coming to an end. Carlton might be crazy but she isn’t stupid and knows that Lisa Vanderpump is a much better friend to have than Brandi fucking Glanville. Although I’m assuming Lisa is smart enough to know that associating with the likes of Carlton isn’t good for her reputation. So this is just a lose/lose situation for everyone – except Lisa of course.
Finally, all it took was a little lesbian action for Carlton to say something nice about Kyle…
“Ah, the sport of motorboating!. . .The first time I’ve actually seen Kyle genuinely let her hair down. Good for her.”
Goodbye Carlton. We won’t miss you next season.
Joyce: Kyle Is Being Influenced By The Wrong People
Joyce wishes that Kyle could see through Brandi’s agenda
Joyce broke all the Housewife rules and decided to tell the truth in her blog despite her friendship with Kyle. Here are some interesting excerpts:
“After the Puerto Rico trip, I advised Kyle to really look at who instigated what. As much as I like Kyle, I do believe she was being influenced by the wrong people.”
“I told this to Kyle on multiple occasions as I didn’t understand how she was believing every word Brandi said after Brandi had tried to talk crap about both Kyle and Kim to me from the beginning.”
“I saw Brandi and Scheana talk and agree to move on and get past their differences. I’ve seen Brandi being “nice” to Scheana (or at least “fake-nice,” since I have experienced first hand that Brandi mastered that art). Brandi was “over” the Scheana issue. For her to now bring this up out of left field simply in order to find another contrived reason to attack Lisa, is vicious and lame at the same time. Lisa has been a great friend to Brandi. She even defended Brandi’s inexcusable behavior to me earlier in the season.”
“The most painful to watch was that Ken barely even touched Yolanda when she swatted him away. My husband and I didn’t see the alleged aggression when it occurred. After Ken and Lisa left, Yolanda was shaking like a leaf, almost crying, and saying that she had never had a man put his hands on her. This became a big deal at the party and Carlton, Kyle, and myself were all shocked and felt genuinely sorry for her — to the point where my husband gave Yolanda his jacket. Now that I have seen the “abuse” and it looks much more like Ken just reaching for her hand, I can’t believe she would go to such lengths and try to assassinate his character.”
This is really interesting. I wish Bravo would have shown this, why are they holding back on all the good stuff? What the hell? This is more proof of how much Yolanda loves to be the victim. I re watched that scene a few times, and Ken didn’t even touch her. He pointed his finger at her and then she slapped him away like royalty who is offended that a commoner would dare try to touch her delicate skin. I’ve really come to dislike Yolanda this season. She is just an awful woman.
Kyle still hasn’t written her blog yet. But I’m sure it will be the same bla bla blaing about how much she loves Lisa and if Lisa would just cut off her left pinky finger and write KR + LV = BFF 4EVA in blood on the Hollywood walk of fame then they could just move on and be friends again.
Basically Housewives is High School all over again. Lisa is the prom queen.
Yolanda is the exchange student who no one understands, but they want to be friends with her because she’s rich and pretty.
Brandi is the slut giving BJ’s behind the bleachers after school, but the girls put up with her because sneaks them free weed from her dad’s stash.
Kyle is the airhead with the crazy sister, but they’re on TV and know the Jackson’s so they’re allowed to sit at the cool table at lunch, although Kim spends most of the time in the bathroom snorting Ritalin she bought from Brandi.
Carlton is the weird kid dressed in all black who eats lunch alone, but dreams that one day the prom queen will be her friend. She hooks up with girls at parties to try to make boys like her… but it doesn’t work. She tries to be interesting by adopting strange religions, but that also doesn’t work. No one finds her interesting, just weird.
Joyce is the hyper cheerleader who tries way too hard to be friends with everyone and is always smiling too much and trying to convince everyone how perfect she is.
They all want to be BFF’s with the prom queen, because as we all know, in high school girls can only have ONE best friend. They couldn’t accept that Lisa was equally nice to all of them, they each wanted to be special and better than the others. So instead of dealing with their jealousy like adults, they all decided to band together and get rid of source of their jealousy and insecurity.
Without Lisa and her perfectness around, they can all feel better about themselves and push their massive insecurities into the back of their minds where they can ignore it’s existence…. for now.
I found this picture on Bravotv.com. So David was at the finale. I wonder if he came late, or if he just purposely stays away from the cameras. I wouldn’t want to be filmed if I were him. Yolanda is embarrassing.
I forgot to add the ladies final words at the end of my recap yesterday. So here they are: