Ok so the first episode was kinda boring, but first episodes usually are. It’s all about catching up with the old wives and meeting the new one.
But what the fuck was up with the new tag lines? I’m getting really disappointed in Bravo… I thought Carlton was an honest mistake, but now it’s like they’re trying to be trashy.
Carole went from being a princess to talking about her ass, Ramona is basically calling herself a drunk, Sonja’s talking about going commando…. which just makes me think of her lady parts, and I’m sorry but Sonja’s lady parts are not something I want to be thinking about. Ever.
Aviva making jokes about her leg? And Heather… Omg girl stop trying to make “Holla” happen, you’re white and the 90’s are over. Tacky and poor taste Bravo.
If they wanted to change something they should have changed the ugly dresses from last season, not the tag lines.
I’m already not too thrilled with this season and we haven’t even gotten past the opening credits yet.
Let’s catch up with the wives:
Carole wrote another book. But she’s still just all sad and alone with no family, no kids, not even a boyfriend anymore. At least Bethenny had a dog. I guess it’s too late for Carole to have kids, but I hope she can meet a nice guy who hopefully has some step kids she can get along with. Even when she’s smiling she still seems sad to me. Someone needs to give the girl a hug, and a cracker.
Heather is still Heather. Not much seems to have changed with her. She brags about working for Puffy (P.Diddy?) but it’s not like they’re friends or anything. She threw a party and invited all of her “industry” friends. No one famous came. Besides the Housewives of course.
Sonja is getting nuttier and nuttier. I like her, but boy do I feel bad for the Morgan family. She is just trashing their name all over the city. Actually… they’re part of the 1% that’s ruining the world, so fuck them.
Sonja still has her townhouse for now. I don’t know why, but I just imagine that her house is really dusty and smells like dog pee. And where the hell does she get all these interns from? On WWHL she says NYU gives credits for being her intern. That can’t be true! What are they learning? How to marry for money? There is definitely something shady going on with the intern situation in that house.
Ramona still looks great for her age. Is she the oldest Housewife of any franchise? It’s just a little sad watching her now, when we know what’s going to come with Mario….
Aviva is on her best behavior but its sooooooo fake. This woman would make a good con artist… or sociopath. She lies so well. But there is no way she’s going to be able to keep this act up. She’s putting a lot of effort into containing the crazy and eventually she’s just going to explode. I still think she should take Ramona’s advice and pop Xanax or 5, it would probably make her a more likable person.
Let’s meet the new girl Kristen. This is what Bravo has to say about her:
“Born in Farmington, Connecticut, Kristen began her modeling career at age 14 after being discovered by John Casablanca’s agency. She went on to work in New York before moving to Paris for several years, followed by Italy and Australia. Gracing the covers of some of the world’s most renowned fashion publications, Kristen has appeared inAustralian Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, and Glamour as well as national campaigns for beauty brands such as L’Oréal and Clairol. The blonde beauty had been photographed by famed photographers including Antoine Verglas and Ben Watts.
In addition to her work as a model and mom, Kristen’s keen business sense led her to launch her own successful greeting card company called 2nd Street Press in 2009. On a personal note, after visiting Graceland as a teenager, Kristen developed a deep love for Elvis Presley which remains with her today. Not only does she take great pride in knowing the lyrics to all of his songs, she also shows her admiration by displaying a 4-foot-by-5-foot portrait of “The King” in the hallway of her apartment. Kristen lives by the philosophy of “telling it like it is” — because she has nothing to hide.
Today Kristen lives in TriBeCa with her husband of 10 years Josh Taekman — co-founder of the natural energy supplement EBOOST — and their two children, five-year-old Cash and two-year-old Kingsley. She stays in shape by keeping up with her children’s many school, social and extracurricular activities, along with her disciplined pursuit of Pilates, JCORE fitness, and an EBOOST a day.”
I don’t know what to think about her yet. I can’t decide if she’s funny or if I want to smack her. But she seems super honest, which always creates tons of good drama. And we’ve been in need some real honesty on this show since Bethenny left to
go implode all over herself and make everyone hate her do her own show.
Judging from the previews, it doesn’t seem like the other women like Kristen very much. I must admit I am a bit intrigued by her, which is a huge step up from the immediate disappointment I felt with Joyce and Carlton.
Gotta say, I didn’t miss LuAnn. I’ve always said she was boring and pointless. She was kinda interesting when she was cheating on Jacques with Pirates in the Caribbean… but that’s about the only interesting thing she’s ever done on this show.
Now on to the recap :