yolanda wants to be queen bee but she can’t fill lisa’s pumps

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – This Episode Sucked #RHOBH

I wish we could have skipped this episode and went straight to the next one. This is an example of what Beverly Hills will look like if Lisa isn’t in it: SHIT.

So this recap is going to be short. But not as short as Yolanda’s blog. She didn’t even write one this week because she ran out of Lyme disease excuses for her behavior. This is literally Yolanda’s entire blog:

“Yolanda Takes a Pass

Yolanda H. Foster

Yolanda asks for your forgiveness for not having more to share this week.
Posted by Yolanda H. Foster on Mar 3208

Hello Bravo Lovers!
Due to a house full of family guest this week i was unable to write a blog. My apology. Until next week.
Much love,

What the fuck Yolanda?! You guys should check out the nasty comments people have been leaving for her. Some of them are pretty funny.

So….onto the recap. Ken and Lisa packed up and got the fuck out of Puerto Rico. Everyone is shocked that Lisa didn’t want to stick around to be yelled at during breakfast. What’s wrong with her?

But Lisa reveals in her blog that they didn’t actually leave Puerto Rico, they just left that shitty hotel with all the bitchy women and went to a more fabulous place to finish their vacation.

“When we left that hotel, after Kim had been pretty abusive with no regret, we knew to stay or inform them that we were exhausted by the unrelenting accusations and wanted to leave it would result in an even more complicated scenario.
We looked at each other as we were going to bed, saddened by the day’s events and decided to get the hell out of there — to find the most glorious hotel on the island and vanish for a few days, to recover and lick my wounds. So that is what happened.”

Read Lisa’s full blog here

Kim admits that she should call Ken and apologize for her immature behavior, but she doesn’t want toooooo. Doing the right thing is hardddddddd. And as an alcoholic, she isn’t required to take responsibility for her actions, as previously stated.

Screen shot 2014-03-05 at 12.44.11 PM

Being an alcoholic gives you a free pass to do anything. I learned that in AA. Trust me Brandi, I know what I’m talking about. Just keep drinking.

Yolanda initially looked pretty upset about Lisa leaving because she was really looking forward to continuing to bitch at her for another day. But she got over it pretty fast when she realized that now there is no one around making her feel jealous and insecure.

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No more talking about Lisa. I’m in charge now!

Yolanda’s first order of business is to declare that no one is allowed to talk about Lisa for the rest of the day. Everyone seems very disappointed in this. They were really excited to spend the day talking shit behind her back. But Yolanda will not allow Lisa to steal one more bit of her spotlight.

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I got rid of Lisa now I’m the QUEEN of this show! You all walk behind me!

Yolanda thinks she can be Queen Bee, but she can never fill Lisa’s Pumps. That’s for sure.